사랑해요, 친애하는 친구 I love you, dear friend
by skizzled-toufu
Summary: Childhood friends, Choi SeungHyun and Kwon JiYong parted on not so pleasent terms. SH dreds the return of his once friend, fearing the hatred he will have torwards him. Will their reunion be as terrible as he fears or something sweeter?BIGBANG:TOPxGDragon
1. Forward

***hey, this is my first fanfic, hope you like it :)***

***i do not own bigbang, yg entertainment does. cuz believe me, if i did, i would not be writing this :P***

Characters:

Kwon Ji Yong/G Dragon

Choi Seung Hyun/TOP/Tempo

Lee Seung Hyun/SeungRi/V

Dong Young Bae/Tae Yang

Kang Dae Sung/Dae Sung

Basic Story:

Childhood friends, SeungHyun and JiYong have went their separate ways after the unfortunate misunderstanding of MinYoung's condition. After that incident, JiYong left the city and probably even the

country to avoid SeungHyun. Agonized by his friend's pain, SeungHyun begins to have reoccurring nightmares involving a reunion of the two.

Five years later, JiYong is now twenty-three and SeungHyun, twenty-four. It begins as an average morning for SeungHyun. Woken by the disturbing dreams that have haunted him for the past five

years...he drags himself into rehearsal. He is ashamed and depressed that the team is suffering because of his poor performance. They don't mention it, don't bring it up, but he can the the frustration

on their faces each time he screws up. With low-self esteem, the team ships him off to pick up some snacks and drinks after yet another unpleasant rehearsal. On the sidewalk, about twenty minutes

from the studio, SeungHyun sees another person walking towards him. He recognizes the figure and can't believe it...until the boy looks up and shyly, slowly, smiles.

Background Information :

.com/watch?v=fO8F7lDhbAM&feature=fvsr

Story for those who don't get it:

JiYong finds the love of his life (MinYoung) with his best friend SeungHyun. He automatically jumps to the conclusion that she has left him for him or rather that SeungHyun has "stolen" her form him. He

picks a fight with SH, where SH calmly tries to inform him of the fact that it is a misunderstanding. Finally he gets pissed, and starts fighting back. The other three as well as SeungHyun know the truth

of the situation. That MinYoung has been diagnosed with cancer and is going to die, yet she has sworn them to secrecy to prevent JiYong from finding out. Finally, when she is going in for her final

operation, YoungBae can't take it anymore and calls GD and tells him of her situation. Panicked and worried, he runs down to the hospital. He runs into SeungHyun in the hallway and tries to ignore

him, alas, SeungHyun grabs his sleeve and presses MinYoung's ring into his hand. He says "I'm sorry I lied. MinYoung really loved you..." and then walks away. Relieved that his love wasn't lost he runs

to where the others are outside the OR. Moments later, doctors roll out MinYoung, she had passed during surgery.

***this is a taste! I will not be adding anymore until i get at least ten chapters done.***

***as of now, july seventh two-thousand-ten, ten twenty-three pee emm, i have 2 done.***

***after the first is posted, i will continue to post weekly!***

***please look forward to it :)***


	2. Chapter 1

annyeonghaseyo~~

sorry it's taken me so long...the whole thing about updating once a week once i got ten chapters done...was slightly bull -_-

but i do have a lot done...so there should be some relitively active updating, in theory.

well, here you go.

***Chapter 1.1***

Once again Seunghyun found himself facing his closest friend. His face was twisted in pain, eyes stained from tears long ago shed, but so harshly that they left a scar of their presence. Seunghyun couldn't help but think even in this painful state, the boy above him was the cutest creature on the planet. In their years together, he had said this many a time to the boy, who in return would smile just a little wider, his face would light up just a little bit more, he would seem just a little bit happier. Seunghyun came to use this method to console the fragile person, who, he learned fairly quickly, was not the happy go lucky persona he put on to the public.

So badly, Seunghyun wanted to whisper these words, words that only he said, into his friend's ear. So badly did he want to remove the pain-stricken expression from the young man's face. But underneath the pain, he saw anger. Bitter hate and betrayal fueled the anger that burned deep in the eyes and soul of the boy. Seunghyun knew that this strong emotion was for him and him alone to see. For these vicious emotions, that seemed to swallow him...was directed towards him. Seunghyun knew he had no right to comfort the soft being, for the pain he was continuously struck with was caused by him. Seunghyun knew he was the reason and therefore could not bring himself to strike back at the boy.

Seunghyun was on his knees in front of his friend, held up only by that said friend's hand clutching his collar ever so tightly. Blood dripped down from the corner of his mouth and he could feel the skin begin discoloring around his left eye and cheek. His jaw felt kind of weird...'Probably dislocated...' he thought as he watched the figure before him pull back for another round. He thought he dissevered this...no. He knew he deserved this...for this was nothing compared to what he had put the present 'prosecutor' through. He knew this...accepted this...Seunghyun believed this. He did slump when the fist, well, the knuckles connected with his right cheekbone. He stayed as straight as he could as the third onslaught befell him. He held his head straight, not hanging. He did not allow his eyes to close. He watched as his closest friend locked eyes with him as he continued on. He wanted to make sure Seunghyun saw what he was feeling...this was his way of submitting, not allowing himself to be simply whacked around, but standing his ground in order to feel the full force and so that every thought, every meaning was caught. Those important things are lost in the spastic flopping of some, but Seunghyun tried his best to catch every word as each blow connected.

Finally, the boy stopped...he threw Seunghyun to the ground, as he had done many times previously, and also like those times, he tried to get back up, but this time he found a forceful kick to the chest preventing him. He slammed into the damp ground of the early morning. The sun was just beginning to peak over the tree line. The boy bent down far, till his nose and Seunghyun's were close to touching. Staring into his eyes, he said the words that filled each of Seunghyun's nightmares, the words he feared most in the world, the only words that could bring him to the edge of breaking...yet he did not simply say them...or scream them for the world to hear. No, this was something private...something for only them to experience. The boy's warm chocolate eyes turned cold, his gaze steadied. Just barely above a whisper, audible for only him, slowly...clearly...he pronounced the words, letting each syllable sink in and watching the effect as he broke the man laying beneath him.

"I. Hate. You. I hate you Choi Seunghyun." He straightened and looked down on him...watching him slowly begin to hyperventilate. "For the rest of my existence I will allow this hatred to fester and grow in my heart in the space you used to occupy. No longer will I bring myself the pain of you."

Seunghyun shot up stark-straight in the full size bed. His various quilts and blankets buried the floor around the frame. Beads of sweat rolled down Seunghyun's body, drenching every inch of him. Drowning him in his own body. His eyes were wide and he was breathing as though he had just ran twenty miles straight. He used his arm to support himself in order to avoid falling into the puddle behind him. He let out a sigh of relief as he realized that yet again, this was just another dream...foreshadowing his future.

For the past five years, dreams along the lines of the one he had just experienced, had haunted him. So many times...he had woken with tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks. His pillows wore the stains from restless nights. Although he believed he deserved what happened in his dreams...it did not stop them from hurting him so badly.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his feet touching the ground. He did not bother to wipe his eyes...there was no one here to see him anyway. Jiyong was the one would had shared the apartment with him. Jiyong was the one who left him so long ago. Seunghyun made his way slowly to the bathroom at the other end of the room, carefully placing his foot flatly on the floor, ready to catch himself if he lost his balance. This was happening quite often recently. His nerves were shot and his body weak, the lack of sufficient sleep was slowly draining him. He was aware of this and unsure of how much more he could really take.

He showered and brushed his teeth and hair...not bothering to style. The make-up artists had forbidden him from doing it himself ever since he had accidentally grabbed the industrial adhesive instead of the gel. In his defense, those two shouldn't really be sitting next to each other in the first place. Their bottles resembled each other. It had brought tears to their eyes when they had to shave his head...Seunghyun threw on a pair of slacks, his normal wife-beater, and a heavy red jacket. Winter was close and the temperatures weren't exactly pleasant in his book.

He was actually early to rehearsal. This had not happened in a very long time. He had beat everyone, which was also very surprising considering Daesung had taken to being at least an hour early. He had taken it upon himself to try his very best to kept BigBang together until their leader could return. They all believed it would happen...even Seunghyun. 'I wonder where Chipmunk-hubae is...'. He shrugged, not actually worried. He would probably be here any second, with his trademark smile and questions as to why he was here so early. He shed his coat and retied his sneakers. He stood in front of the wall with the ballet mirror. He was surprised to see that the definition of his muscles was still visible...he hadn't been in the gym in months...he didn't have the energy. He turned on the stereo, of which he was glad that their last practice demo was still in. Seunghyun took his place in front of the mirror once again and slowly began to move to the music...to feel the beats...to feel the bass pounding in his chest. Before he knew it...he was dancing the choreography they had been taught nearly two months ago...they had dropped the routine because he was having difficulty getting it down.

Seunghyun closed his eyes and gave the beats full control of his movements. He hadn't felt this good in so long. Too long. This was how he felt when he would dance with Jiyong...but he wouldn't think about that now. He cleared his mind and let his body rest and regenerate the only way it knew.

~so...there you go. i'll have an update up soon~

comments? thoughts and suggestions are always good ^^

peace, loves, and many french fries [or whatever junkie foods yous likes]

나의 사랑스러운 독자 ~


	3. Chapter 2

~hey...look at that...two chapters^^~

i figured i should be nice, and put up more than one, so two in one day sounds good ^^

i hope that last chapie wasn't too depressing. i reread it, and was like holy KIKWANG .

[b2uties of b2strising laugh with me here :3]

anyways...enjoys ^^^

****{3 eyed monster}****

Daesung walked into the hall with the maknae and Youngbae. They were laughing at the most ridiculous pun that had been said on the way over, when they heard music coming from the studio. Now the only ones with keys were themselves, Seunghyun, the janitors, President Yang, and...Jiyong. They knew there was no way that Seunghyun could be there this early, even though Daesung was later than usual, they were still a good fifteen minutes early. They looked at each other, each wondering and hoping the same. 'Could it really be Jiyong?'. No one dared to speak it out loud but the took off running. Cutting corners and racing up stairs instead of waiting for elevators. They skidded to a stop just before the door. They slowly peaked around the corner to look through the large glass window. Their faces fell at the sight they saw in the room. Not out of disappointment, no it wasn't that. But of pure shock.

Seunghyun was dancing in way he could not bring himself to do in years. That and he was actually here...they crouched down, so he would not notice them.

"I didn't know hyung-nim still had it in him..." the younger Seunghyun whispered. "I knew he did! I just knew it!" Daesung, his whisper bubbling with excitement. "I'm with Dae here...but is it healthy? I mean he hasn't been active like this for years..."Youngbae was genuinely worried. And he was right. "But think about it Tae, don't you think this was exactly what he needed? The only way to move like that is to free your mind. To let go. Don't you think he needs that? It's been years since he's been able to do this...I bet he'll even sleep soooo deep tonight that no nightmares will enter his thoughts!" Daesung understood why his friend was worried but he also was convinced that this was exactly what his hyung needed. "Either way..." Seunghyun maknae started, "we shouldn't disturb him, should we...?" His elders shook their heads in disagreement. "No." They answered in unison, "This is a practice after all and we should dance with him." Youngbae said. "Agreed. We should just walk in quietly, drop our stuff and just smoothy join in. We already know the choreography he's using...so it shouldn't be much of a problem." the maknae looked at his hyungs and decided they were right. They should dance together. It was a practice after all...

Lost in his own world, Seunghyun didn't notice his fellow members when they snuck into the studio. His eyes, closed. His body just moving to the beat as though he'd been born to dance the steps his body followed, he did not see them in the mirror behind him. They too, soon became swept away with the music. After about ten minutes, Seunghyun maknae realized something. 'This isn't the song these steps were choreographed to...' He crept over to the stereo, where he saw the case for the cd that was currently playing. _We Belong Together..._ was written on the cover. This was the set of demos Jiyong had sent over. It was the voice of Jiyong, happy and confident, pulsating from the speakers. 'No wonder Seunghyun hyung is so relaxed...' This was what worried him most. That Jiyong was sad, depressed, broken...this was what haunted his dreams. Hearing this music...this voice, so happy, so like Jiyong, it was this that gave him the piece of mind he needed. Discreetly, the maknae whispered his newly discovered fact into the ears of the other two. They all silently agreed, Seungri cut the music.

Even in the silence, Seunghyun continued to dance as though it had never stopped. "Hyung!" the three shouted in unison. Completely startled, he tripped over his feet and hit the floor of the studio with a solid oomph. He looked up at the three hubaes...they were all smiling from ear to ear. Grinning at him...instead of the wistful smiles he had grown accustomed to over the years. "Hyung, that was amazing!" Seungri sounded so enthusiastic. Trying to block out his peers...Seunghyun concentrated on how he was feeling. He wasn't tired, even though after a quick glance at the clock told him he had been dancing for at least an hour. In his normal state, ten minutes had been enough to wipe him out. Today was different. He could feel it in his bones. He felt refreshed...one could say he was almost calm. But not quite. His nightmare still haunted the back of his thoughts...he wouldn't ever truly escape it, and he was fine with that. He stood and stretched his tense muscles. The others couldn't hold in their gasp. They had forgotten how truly gorgeous he was when he stretched to his full height. He chuckled. A soft, barely audible noise, but it was there.

"Hyung," Daesung started, "Would you like to go out and pick up some stuff while we clean this place up a bit?" Youngbae finished for him. Feeling as though his body could use a really good run, Seunghyun nodded and grabbed his jacket. They scribbled down their requests and sent him on his way. Once he left, the three looked at each other. The reason they had expected Jiyong earlier was because he had text-ed them that he would be returning sometime that day. Their highest hopes were that Jiyong in fact would not carry such a hatred for their hyung as he believed he did. Hopefully they would run into each other. They could not be sure, but they prayed with every ounce of their beings. Today they had seen a glimpse of the real Seunghyun for the first time in years. It had been the happy voice of Jiyong that revived him. They prayed that they would be able to witness just a little more of their old friend again.

Knowing that once he stepped outside his body would want to curl into a tight little ball, Seunghyun took off out the door running. After about five or so blocks, he slowed to a walking pace. His muscles were loose now, but he could slowly feel them re-tightening themselves. His head became clearer the more he walked in the blasted cold weather. Memories of that morning's nightmare and so many before crept into his thoughts. He felt the calm leave him as quickly as it came. He was once again locked in the depression that had held him captive. He huddled in his jacket, scanning the sides of the road for the place the other members had specified. At long last, he spotted them and bolted inside, craving the warmth they offered. He dreaded leaving them after he had made the desired purchases. Knowing he could not stay there all day, he reluctantly forged out into the cold air. Seunghyun shuddered when the first gust of cold hit his body. He began heading to the final destination on the list.

The streets were empty. Not a person in sight. No animals either. Apparently, he was the only one stupid enough to brave this kind of weather. When the last destination, a little cafe, came into view, he had to fight the urge to run for it. He knew his limbs would not cooperate if he attempted, therefore landing him face-first on the concrete. So, he fought back and continued slowly. As he intently watched the door, transfixed on his destination, a figure emerged. Male, small and thin. A thin leather jacket covering his wife-beater, skinny jeans, and hi-top rubber shoes was all he wore. Seunghyun shivered just looking at him. The figure turned toward Seunghyun, for he had made a noise in the process of his shiver. The boy, in an attempt to see, brushed aside the bleached blonde hair that hung softly over his left eye. Seunghyun would never be able to mistake those deep chocolate eyes for anyone else. "Jiyong...?" the question was barely audible, even to his own ears. But there was no question, no doubt in his mind. The figure before him was none other than Kwon Jiyong, G dragon...the one he had caused so much pain. He wanted desperately to turn, to run away as fast as possible. And only one thing prevented him from doing so. Three words that he never thought he'd here spoken in that soft, angelic voice...

"Seunghyun hyung...?"

*****gamsahamnida^^*****

so, so? wat do ya thinks?

getting interesting?

no? maybe a little...?

ㅋㅋㅋ...

as always, comments(reviews) are loves 3

peace, loves, and snails^^

cuz they're gonna rule the world after the squirrel kingdom crumbles

나의 사링스러운 독자~~


	4. Chapter 3

~here you go :) ~

the next two installments

sorry, I haven't been updating a lot :(

mianhae...this sorta gets pushed to the back of the pile...stupid grades

anywho...please enjoy^^

****{hare hare yukai}****

Seunghyun didn't know what to do. When he heard that voice...saying those words, his mind turned a blank. He was not able to process what was happening. He was lost for words. He couldn't think. He froze in the spot where he stood. His feet unable to move. Seunghyun...stared at the younger boy. He couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes from him. So long...it had been so long since he had seen this sight. The sight of his best, closest...no, dearest friend. He stared on even as Jiyong began to move closer and closer to him. After a few seconds, his eyes registered the movement. He could feel mobility return to his limbs. Dropping his head, Seunghyun began to walk forward. His plan? To walk right past the one approaching him. He believed he had caused him so much pain already...why bring him more? He drew nearer. The distance was closing at a rapidly increasing rate, even though both walked carefully and precisely. When Seunghyun became parallel to the Jiyong, he turned his head, confused why he was being ignored. Seunghyun took no notice and attempted to continue past. But something prevented him. Then he felt it. A hand on his sleeve. Not grabbing, necessarily, but lightly placed. Seunghyun could not bring himself to ignore such a soft gesture. The smaller boy gently turned him to face him. Jiyong had his head hung so that he was looking at his sneakers instead of him. 'Those are the ones we all chipped in for his birthday...' Seunghyun thought as he too looked to the ground.

"Seunghyun hyung...I-I-I'm sorry..." Jiyong said in a voice so quiet, it was barely above a whisper. This surprised Seunghyun. His head snapped up at the word 'sorry' coming from that mouth. "Why...?" he began, "w-why are _you_ sorry...?" he placed a slight enfisis on the you. Jiyong looked up. Surprised when his eyes met the dark eyes of his hyung. "W-What..?"

"_I_ am the one who should be saying sorry...I brought you so much pain. So much hurt. Why are you _apologizing_ to _me_?" "listen...where are you living now...?" Jiyong asked tentatively. "Same place." "Could I drop by later and we discuss this? I haven't seen you and the others in so long...I don't really want to spoil this right now..." he answered Seunghyun unasked 'Why?'.

"W-Would it be possible to just ask you for the biggest hug you ever given and an escort to the studio...?" Jiyong had continued to watch his sneakers as he asked this. 'I love these...because everybody gave them to me...but also because to the note Dae had hid in the bottom of the box... "_Jiyong...Seunghyun hyung...he was the one who picked these out for you. He thought these would just make your day when you saw them. He had the GaHo personalized for you...just in case you wanted to know..."_ He still remembered every word. They had made his day. It meant so much to him that Seunghyun still cared enough about him to think this way. He felt tears bead in the corners of his eyes when he felt his hand drop from the arm of his hyung. Sad that Seunghyun had refused him...he began to turn away just as two arms wrapped themselves around his tiny self. The arms were clad in the large, puffy red sleeves of Seunghyun's jacket.

Seunghyun could not believe what he heard coming from the mouth of the person before him. 'He wants to come over? He wants _me_ to take him to the studio? He wants me to _hug_ him?' Before he could even properly process what had been asked of him...he saw his arms wrap themselves around the small boy. He brought the others body close to his own. He fully embraced him. It was indeed the biggest hug he'd given in his life. He almost jumped when he felt arms wrap around his waist. Jiyong was hugging him back. As tight as they could, they embraced each other on the deserted street. When they broke apart, Seunghyun looked into the face of his friend for the first time in five long years. He was startled by the beauty he saw and the small, clear tears he saw dripping down the cheeks. Unaware of what he was doing, again, he lifted his hand from the boy's shoulder and wiped away the tears. Jiyong smiled at the small kindness. And grabbed Seunghyun's hand as he began to walk in the direction of the studio. Seunghyun inwardly smiled. And ran to match pace with him. As they neared the studio, Jiyong had already dropped Seunghyun's hand, but he turned to him with a questioning look. "Hyung?" "Yeah?" "Why are you wearing such a heavy coat?" It was almost ninety degrees outside...Seunghyun was just a little lost :)

As the two neared the door to the studio, they began to hear the whispers from inside.

"Do you think they found each other?" they heard Seungri's voice echo out into the hall. "Of course they did," this was Youngbae, "why else would it take Seunghyun hyung so long. Even on his worst days, he was always efficient when it came to stupid shit like that."

Jiyong turned to look at his hyung. 'What had they meant by 'his worst days'?'. He was confused. The team hadn't exactly kept him up to speed on the whole Seunghyun thing. They felt it would be better if they didn't interfere. None of them felt quite confident enough with there opinions of what was happening between their friends to attempt anything. If this turned bad, they didn't want to be the one's at fault for destroying the childhood friendship. Not wanting to hear anymore of the gossip before Seunghyun had the chance to tell him himself, Jiyong took hold of his hand again. He pulled him down to were he could successfully whisper in his ear, "Let's go hyung!" He said in such a childish way and tone. After these years he hadn't known he was still able to act like that. Seunghyun turned his head down to see the younger's expression. Jiyong held his eyes wide, pleading almost, and his mouth in the tiniest, gentlest smile he could manage. He felt the hard stare of his elder melt and he smiled a little wider. He pushed Seunghyun into the room first. He paused from the shock. The other members nearly jumped out of their skin. They all looked towards the door. When they saw nobody follow their hyung into the room, their faces fell. Seunghyun, who'd been watching them closely since the comments he'd overheard, noticed this. 'I smell foul play.' He saw that they were expecting someone else to be with him. This fact told him that, they knew Jiyong was returning to Korea, to Seoul, yet they didn't inform him. He was coming close to blowing, when he felt a small pressure on his back. Since Jiyong had always been shorter than him, this had always been his way of telling TOP to cool it. It wasn't worth it. He smiled, faintly, barely visible at the memories. After a few more awkward moments of silence, and after he was sure Seunghyun had calmed, he poked his head out from the taller boy.

"Annyeong chingu!" he said happily stepping out into their line of vision. Their chins nearly hit the floor. In attempt to stand, they tripped over each others feet and narrowly missed hitting the floor with their faces.

"Jiyong!" they squealed in unison. Seunghyun leaned against the door frame as he watched his friends consume Jiyong in a massive group hug. His eyes had locked onto his face, even the midst of the craziness. He watched as the younger boy's eyes lit up at the embraces of his missed friends. Seunghyun was forced to turn his head away, to lose the sight of his most precious person, to avoid showing him the tears he felt bead in his eyes. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to be included in one again...

*****gamsahamnida^^*****

aww...kinda off/weird way to end a chapter

getting any happier?

comments(reviews) are loves : 3

peace, loves, and suzumiya haruhi

cuz you all know she makes you happy

나의 사링스러운 독자~~


	5. Chapter 4

~heyo...again two chapters~

because i'm slow -.-

this one's dedicated to XtremeSkittles016

because they reminded me about this story lol

thank you~~~:)

enjoy^^

****{dansa med oss}****

~Jiyong's pov~

I was immediately consumed by the arms of my friends. I had missed them so much. In this moment, I felt as though I'd never be able to truly express this to them. They were laughing as they tried to keep the failing huddle on it's feet. Dae and V were jumping and hopping around with their arms tight around me. Tae was the closest. He wasn't like the others. He just stood there and held me tight, as though I'd disappear if he didn't. They'd told me that Dae had taken the role of leader while I was away, but I knew that most of the burden had to have fallen upon poor Tae's shoulders. He had always put off the strong gangsta profile to our fans...when he was really a shy, quite, and responsible person.

As I stood in the mess of flailing limbs and such, my eyes caught sight of Seunghyun hyung, just leaning against the door frame with his head turned away. I could almost feel my heart shudder. This was the reason I had delayed my return for so long. I was afraid that my hyung wouldn't want me anymore. That he would be really mad about how I treated him so long ago. My worst nightmare was him rejecting me. Him telling me that he hated me. This is why I wanted so desperately to push the inevitable talk to later. I didn't want this moment to be ruined. I wanted to see everyone laugh and sing and goof and dance together at least one last time before something separated us...

I managed to wiggle myself loose of the attack and get my words lost in the meaningless conversation they were all partaking in. Except, that is, hyung. We moved into the studio and Seunghyun followed us with his bag of things I guess the others used as an excuse for him to go out. I nearly wet myself I was laughing so hard, as he pulled out a box of snap-dragons. So many stories of the idiocy we exemplified with those, and none of them had particularly good endings. Soon, I saw the calculating and uncomfortable expression vanish from his face. He allowed himself to get lost in the idiocy of the moment. I smiled wider and stood to excuse myself. I had a plan that would make everybody laugh their asses off. I ran to the supply closet were they stashed old recordings and such. It was at times like these that I was extremely happy that the people had OCD and everything was alphabetized. I had no problem finding what I was looking for.

When I returned, they had V doing hid Justin Timberlake impersonation. It was slightly awkward considering the fact that he was using Dae as Britney. Dae couldn't stop smiling, as usual, which upped the awkward level when V began to dry hump the guy. This brought me back to a thought I had a few years ago...'What if we're all secretly gay?'. I mean it would explain so much. But, I know or a fact that we're not because somehow V landed Bom from our sisters 2NE1, and Dae had Minzy, and Tae...well he had some difficulty in that area due to trust issues and scary ex's. I had never heard of Tempo having a girlfriend, but I remembered his first crush, which at the time he was so cute and too shy for his own good. I, personally never really wanted a girlfriend, basically because of my flirtatious nature, it was difficult.

While they were laughing and probably starting to question V's loyalty, I snuck over to the stereo. When I popped it open to insert the disc I had found I was surprised at what I found. It was the recording I had sent the guys as a taste of what I was bringing back with me. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and nearly jumped to the ceiling. "It's just me." whispered Tae. "hyung was listening to that earlier. Dancing, actually. He looked the happiest I've seen him in years, bro..."He kinda patted me on the head and then turned to return to the guys, who were trying to rescue Dae.

'My music...hyung was listening, no, dancing to my music? The happiest he's been...?' Tae's words had confused me, but I felt extremely happy at the thought of hyung enjoying and smiling to my voice. I shook my head violently in attempt to clear my thoughts. I popped out the demo and inserted my find. I walked back to the others as it loaded. I stood behind Seunghyun as he watched Tae wrestle with V. Then...the music started to play and everyone froze. This had been our first single we'd put out as BigBang. And also the only one of our songs that have a super special dance that corresponds to it. V stood and extended his hands out to his two elders. Dae and Tae looked at each other for a moment before grabbing hold and taking position with our maknae. I tapped the shoulder of the man sitting below me. He seemed startled when he turned to see me, but soon a smile crept onto his face.

~Seunghyun's pov~

Looking up into those eyes, those chocolate eyes, I felt at peace. I don't know why. He held out his hand. I kind of looked at it as though it was a foreign object. Then it hit me. He wanted to dance with me. The dance we had created even before we became BigBang. Even before HyunSeung left. I'd never have imagined that he'd remember this. We were always partners. Always together. I felt something strange in my chest as this sunk in...did he really not hate me? Then of course it turned to 'How the hell doesn't he? Why wouldn't he? Stop getting your hopes up bapo.' Even my inner voices agree with me. His smile started to fade...I didn't want to see that. I quickly smiled up at him. True and confident. Not a fake and shaky one.

I took his hand into my own, caressing the feel of it. My dreams had made me fear this younger boy. He helped me stand and then continued to usher me over the empty space next to the guys. He positioned us just like the old days. And then it began. Our crazy and wacky dance that even we laugh at. The feelings that twisted inside my chest and stomach every time Jiyong was in my arms...I couldn't explain it. It was though I had been missing something for a very long time, and now I had it back. I only wished that this feeling was flowing in him as well, a feeling that said he needed me, that he didn't, couldn't hate me. But once again, the barrage began. 'Who are you to wish these things! Do you realize what you did to that boy?' and others along the same line... [end pov]

When the twenty minute tape ended, it was twenty minutes because it was all versions of the song together and repeated at least twice, the members of BigBang collapsed to the floor. They were breathless because the dance lasted the entire length of the tape, and once you started, there was no going back. The studio was filled with laughs and stupid crack jokes. Seunghyun was sitting with his arm draped over Jiyong's shoulders. The other Seunghyun was out on the floor. Dae couldn't stop laughing and Youngbae had gotten up to find the stashed supply of beverages. In their heads, Dae, Tae, and V were all thinking on how well their plan had went. The two were together again and there was no killing.

For awhile, when the first were happening, Seunghyun had kept a journal detailing each nightmare. One night when Tae stayed over, he had found that journal. What he and the others had passed of as moodiness was an actual problem. They never approached him, but they watched out for him. For sometime, they took turns staying with him overnight, as to console him when he woke screaming, sweaty, and lost. They thought they knew their friend Jiyong, but he had known him longer. Childhood friends even. They weren't entirely sure how this would go, but they had a feeling. And, so far, their feeling had been right.

*****gamsahamnida*****

cute :)

side note: the whole dance-tape thing =

figment of my imagination...it doesnt exist to the best of my knowledge :(

but on a happier note:

~~dansa med oss

klappa era händer

gör som vi gör

ta några steg åt vänster

lyssna och lär

missa inte chansen

nu är vi här med

caramelldansen~~

please comment as always..and thank you to the ones that do^^

peace, loves, and swedish people

because they have murdered my mind

-caramelldansen-

나의 사링스러운 독자~~


	6. Chapter 5

~annyeong...umm im like super sorry~

haven't updated in like forever... -.-'

mianhae

this chapter is to Sakura Aimi

thank for reminding me...so distracted lately

but thank you! i love you :3

well enough excuses...here ya go

*****ps if you like kpop dances check out cloudstrife718 on youtube****

It was about two in the morning. Seunghyun maknae had crashed, Daesung had passed out on the floor and Youngbae had recruited Seunghyun into assisting him with cleaning the studio. The last thing they needed was for the higher ups to come and check on the studio and find it a complete mess. They has insisted that Jiyong sit and rest. They had come to the agreement of Jiyong going home with Seunghyun, mainly because he used to live there and there was a room for him, unlike at the other guys' place. The place wasn't that far, so Jiyong insisted that they not bother taking a cab. Therefore, since he was a little wobbly, his friends made him sit while they took care of the cleanup. He was not happy about that. He didn't like being pushed of to the side while others did all the work for him. Tae and Hyung just brushed it off as though it was no problem, and it really wasn't. Jiyong couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why this was bothering him so much.

When the two had finished their cleaning, Seunghyun helped Tae lug the dead weight of their friends down to their van. They dumped them in the back and slammed the door shut. "This was really great...Jiyong-ah, we don't have any rehearsals or any other important stuff to do tomorrow...so, just take a load off and rest, okay?" Youngbae said as he wrapped the blonde in his arms. "Youngbae-ah, stop worrying about me...but I think I might crash as soon as I hit carpet." he smiled at Seunghyun. By now, Seunghyun was very twitchy. Jiyong was coming home. Home. A place that had been deprived of his presence for five years...the time with the rest of the guys was fun and great and all, like Tae said but...what would happen when they were alone? Would Jiyong turn into the one in his dreams? Be the cruel and merciless person Seunghyun knew he was capable of being? He was uneasy about the whole thing, and he didn't like it, not one bit.

As the two waved at the back of their friends' van, an awkward silence crept between the two. Without a word, they both headed towards the apartment. The air around them thickened as each became more apprehensive towards the other. Neither sure what to do or what would happen. The walk took about ten minutes total, but dragged on for what felt like an eternity to them. They avoided the others looks as Seunghyun held the building door for Jiyong. They avoided each others looks when they both went to press the button in the elevator. They paused in front of the door to the apartment, finally meeting eyes. Seunghyun pulled out his key chain from his pocket and rifled through until he came to the correct one. He then proceeded to unlock and open the door, waving Jiyong in. Jiyong nodded to the taller and stepped inside the place he used to live.

~Jiyong's pov~

"Welcome back Jiyong-ah..." Hyung said so low that I had to strain my ears to catch it. I smiled back at him and told him thank you in an equally low tone. I looked around, not much had changed since I had left. The only things I noticed that were different was the items I had broke during my rampage back then. Everything else was the same. I figured if I were to look in my old room, nothing would have been touched, well except for the carpet and shelves. Seunghyun would've dusted and vacuumed, I guess. He used to be the biggest clean freak. Most of the time I was grateful for his O.C.D. Because I had the problem of forgetting to pick things up or clean regularly with my schedule. Seunghyun was definitely a help in that area. As I spaced, I noticed that Seunghyun had closed the door and was now leaning against it, as though he were scared to actually be in the same room with me alone. I shrugged off my backpack and set on the floor by my feet. Next I put my arms above my head and stretched as though I could reach the sky. It had been a long day, I hadn't noticed it until the possibility of sleep emerged. I looked back at Seunghyun again. He looked really uncomfortable and really anxious. I put on my biggest smile and walked over to him. "Hyung? You haven't changed this place at all, have you?" I said in my child-like voice. He raised his glace from the floor to meet mine. He honestly looked surprised. He smiled at me. A real Choi Seunghyun smile, the kind I had missed all these years. He straightened his posture as though some gigantic weight had been lifted from him. He seemed to breathe easier and his walk was more stable as he closed the distance between us. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, for our height difference was too great to hug my waist (he had explained this to me several years earlier), He didn't crush me to him, it was just a simple 'welcome home' hug. But there was no way he could possibly know what it meant to me. It showed me my worries may have been a little extreme, of course I still believed vehemently in their truth, but maybe not as severe.

"Umm..." I looked up, trying to avoid hyung's eyes. "I-I know I said we could discuss...ahnooo..that.." Hyung cut me off. "Let's not worry about that right now." I backed away from him to get a clear look at his face. From his actions throughout the night, I could tell he was just as worried as I was. I wasn't sure if it was the same, but still. He was never one to put things off. "Look, we're both exhausted and half dead. Lets wait until we're conscious, eh?" I could just kiss him, that carpet comment I had made to Tae was no joke. [end pov]

~Seunghyun's pov~

As soon as I said for us to put off talking, I could see the relief wash over him. I picked up his bag from the floor and placed my hand on his shoulder. I wanted some sort of confirmation, I think. To make sure he was really here. Though the thought of the chances of my fears being real terrified me...I was still exuberant that he was home. I guided him to his room. I knew perfectly well, he knew where it was, but I needed an excuse to be by him.

When we reached the door, I paused, which made Jiyong turn to look at me. I handed him his bag and waited for him to open his door. His lips curled in a shy smile as he took the bag from my hand. He bowed slightly and turned to go into his room. As he disappeared, I whispered a soft 'goodnight' and continued down the hallway to my room.

Inside my room, the blankets were still in their piled state on the floor from this mornings nightmare. After replacing them, I turned toward the small bath. I needed a shower. Scolding hot water pouring down and turning my skin to a dull red sounded strangely soothing right about then.

That night, as I laid in my bed, I couldn't help but think about the person down the hall. I wasn't alone anymore...but what if I screamed again? Now that he was here, in the same building, the same apartment as me, the nightmares were sure to be horrific. How would I explain to him? Somehow I managed to put that out of my mind, and fall into a dead sleep. It wasn't pleasant...but there were no nightmares, so it was amazing.

But there was a dream. The strangest dream...I had the smallest feeling that someone had come into my room, sat on my bed, and just watched me, not saying a word. I shook it off, and tried so desperately to return to that dead silence, but I found no such luck. I woke up calmly for once, for which I thanked the gods for not making me have to explain things to him.

I showered and walked out into the kitchen in my sweat pants, toweling my hair. There he stood, his back to me, in front of the stove, with his head down as though he were staring at something. I sniffed at the air, and realized why I couldn't go back to sleep. He was burning something, for if my memory was correct, he was not the most talented in the kitchen. Stifling a laugh, a walked up behind him, took the spatula from his hand, and turned off the burner. A few seconds later, he jumped away from me, as though startled. Then I chuckled. "Delayed reaction?" I questioned him with a smirk as I went to run some hot water. For some reason, I was acting a lot braver then I felt...Seunghyun...wheres this confidence coming from...?

~Jiyong's pov~

Last night, after he'd said goodnight to me, I heard the shower turn on in his room. I listened to sound of the water, which eventually ended up putting me to sleep. I had woken somewhere around four, only about two hours since we'd parted ways with the guys. 'He's down the hall,' the thought kept invading my mind, 'just ten feet away...in the next room over.' things like these pestered me until I decided it was time for a drink. I knew hyung had always kept orange juice in the fridge, even though it was a drink only me and him liked, I knew he'd have it.

I grabbed a small glass and was on my way back to my bed,when I heard it, faint whimpering noises. The kind only made when one is in too deep a sleep to notice. I approached the door slowly. This was something entirely new. In all the years since I had known him, he was never one to talk in his sleep, let alone whimper.

It wasn't locked, which surprised me, he was a paranoid one. The room was mostly dark, but he shades over the window were pushed back, illuminating the area with a soft glow from Seoul's night life. Just like the rest of the apartment, this room hadn't changed either. The large queen sized bed situated in the center of the north wall, along side the room-length window. The window sill still buried in various gifts from fans. His body was curled into a tight ball in the mountain of blankets, I trend carefully as to not wake him. The red and black plaid sheets covered most of his body, though his face was left visible. Lines of wet residue streaked their way down his cheekbones. The sight was almost painful. Very cautiously, I straightened out his body, limb by limb, until he was sleeping in the position I remember him in. A few time times, he sighed or made the whimpering noise but always curled back into the grips of sleep. I could have sworn I felt him leaning into my touch...I sat down at the end of the bed, just watching his chest rise and fall in the rhythmic pattern of sleep as he calmed, and the tension left his body. I watched him sleep for what seemed like hours, that peaceful rhythm...so many times did I almost fall asleep, but as usual I fought the urges and returned to my own room, confident that the rest of his night would pass in comfort.

*****gamsahamnida*****

so...worth the wait?

Probably not but again im sorry :(

the next chappie will be a real treat...^^

see you then

and since summer's coming in theory the updates should be more frequent

peace, loves, and nickhyun

because I have recently discovered his hotness ~ yey 2PM

나의 사링스러운 독자~~


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